Fetish of pure hilarity

I must sympathize with this unfortunate man. Such a fixation can be all-consuming. I know men that spend their whole life dealing with it.

The Four Horsemen of the Internet Apocalypse

A long time ago, my room mate and I came up with the Four Horsemen of the Internet Apocalypse. They were images so disturbing that they must register as the downfall of all things good on the internet. I will not be linking them, for my own sake (though I have already linked one). You can easily Google them if you really want to know. Likely you know them already

1. Goatse.cx - Nothing says disturbing like a man's gaping anus. While only one picture is world-(in)famous, I have had the distinct displeasure of seeing the entire series, which also demonstrates why his anus is gaping.

2. TubGirl - She's fat, she's spewing a fountain of her own filth. 'nuff said.

3. Lemon Party - Nothing like a circle jerk of old men to really put you off your Wheaties. It's like a perverted vision of Schindler's List. Well, at least the parts with old naked men.

4. Eels - A woman has decided to insert live eels into her vagina and shoot them out. And then eat them.

So there you have it, the Four Horsemen. Proof that all that is good about the internet has been eclipsed by the perversion of humanity.

Rule 34

So it appears that there was already a name for the Theory, Rule 34. Not terribly descriptive, so I'm sticking with mine.

Also, you all don't have to just submit ideas for stuff you don't think is real. If you stumble across anything that you think counts as an 'odd fetish', send it to me and I'll post it for everyone's edification.

Some things shouldn't have sex

Seriously. If you haven't seen the hilariously horrific Happy Tree Friends, you deserve it to yourself to wince through a few episodes. It's an experience you won't soon forget.

That said, the Happy Tree Friends should never be depicted having sex. Ever. Pardon me, I'm going to find the mind bleach.

Sex on Infinite Worlds

Those of you that play Second Life likely already know the sheer weirdness that can happen there. I'm not a Second Lifer myself (though I technically do have a character), but I can appreciate a place where you can literally make anything you can imagine real.

I'm not alone in this, of course. Heck, The Second Life Herald has a whole section dedicated sexuality. I'm going to point out a few choice bits of theirs. Hey, while you're at it, buy yourself a virtual lapdance (and, of course, ogle the Post Six Girls)!

Thrown to the Wolves: A Newbie Discovers Yiffing.

AgePlay Slut Asks, “Where Da Tweeners At?”(Note, I will never link any real-life pedo stuff on here. that's just asking for waaay too much in the way of problems from the law)

The whole 'Fear and Loathing' series is not to be missed.

(on a personal note, Silk Fussbudget might be the most beautiful avatar I've ever seen)

This post is for the birds...

Well, our first comment has to do with bird porn. Off the bat they assumed that it would fall under furry, and rightly so. But before we get to that, I would also like to point out that it isn't the only bird porn out there (sub required).

But on to what you were expecting!

First, you have your typical cosplay.

But you know, that's kinda dull. Why not add lizards, the undead and homoeroticism to really spice up that fantasy? Actually, that's enough right there. I'm just going to send you to the VCL if you really need to find more.

Some people have seen too much of the world

This was posted on another forum. the original poster has allowed me to copy it here, but wished to remain anonymous. Please make sure you're not eating.

I've seen an older french porno where they show what must be the precursor to "unbirthing".

A man gets his whole head inside the woman, and there are no props involved. The prep work was fisting then two fists then two arms and finally working up to four arms to widen everything out before he got the top of his head in there.

There was copious amounts of fluid coming out, and I don't think it was just lube that got put up there.

It was done as a continuous take.

That was pretty disturbing.

So if it was fake, then it was done very well, unlike the fake one where the woman is lying down and it's obviously fake with a rubberized/plastic body.

I think the felching/snowball/anal combo done by a real life porn star was worse than a lot of fetishes mentioned. That stuff sounds weird, but not nasty enough to make veteran porn stars vomit.

There used to be a female porn star with a prolapsed anus. Prior to the full prolapse, she was doing hard core anal gangbangs sometimes with 2 and attempts at 3 penises in one hole at a time. The geometry after 2 penises in one hole gets kind of interesting.

Anyways, she did a whole gangbang with finish in her rectum. Another female pornstar also snowballs into her gaping open rectum. Then she squats over a large champagne glass and shits out the sperm + lube + bits of shit.

Then she picks up the glass and downs it all in one gulp.

A veteran female porn star was on set and off camera, and she plus a few others were vomiting up a storm after that last part.

The prolapsed anus female porn star also makes art by squirting out paint from her prolapsed anus. I remember reading that she was getting $5k for the paintings.

There's really not much left out there to try to imagine. You've got the specializations of the various major fetishes that carry it all.

The faux nullo thing where the guy gets his whole area folded and sewed up into his body with thick thread for a weekend is kind of disturbing. It's like you become a transsexual for the weekend only.

Perhaps I'm getting jaded by all the hyper combo fetishes. Where's ye olde S&M standby with a little bit of spanking?

Sometimes, there's such thing as going too far.

Wearing a Hello Kitty costume while doing your temp-nullo boyfriend dressed as manfaye while on top of a freshly killed llama corpse that's been done up turducken style, and eating chili that's been snowballed into your temp-nullo boyfriend's ass, after being scooped out of the llama's ass is just too damn complicated.

You need a fucking flow chart and project diagram to get anywhere.

I can't believe I didn't post this first...

I can't believe I forgot to point out Stile Project. It seems like such a natural choice for a site talking about the weirdness of people's fetishes.

Warning! Pretty much everything on this site is not safe for work, but I'd like to extra point that out for Stile Project.

While you're at it, take a gander at Eels.

They did that on Porpoise

I have been asked to find fetishes related to Thalidomide birth defects. I'm still searching on that one, but looking up "flipper fetish" pointed me to this.

Also, did you hear the one about the Thalidomide porn star? He had an arm like a baby's dick.

Interview with a 'nullo'

I'll post more responses in a bit, but this one was worth dropping.

Interview with a 'nullo'

Definition here, if you don't want to read the interview itself.

A couple discovered by friends

It looks like I have started a few friends on the path of looking up the bizarre already.

Much to my amusement, they have stumbled onto voreaphilia, which is a cannibalistic fetish rare to most people, but less uncommon in the furry community. I assume it has to do with the whole predator/prey thing furrys have going on. I, of course, was already familiar, as is Something Awful.

Not to be undone, I pointed out unbirthing to them. Again largely the purview of the furry community (to my knowledge, though I know some child phychs use something like this fetish for therapeutic reasons. I think they're crazy). I'm frankly weirded out by unbirthing more than other fetishes, even the perennial gross-out favorite, squicking.

I'm still debating on whether to inline images of examples. It's not like this blog will ever be work safe...

Welcome to the Greater Internet Fetish Theory!

A long time ago, I came up with the idea that all fetishes that can be thought of already exist somewhere on the internet by the simple fact that you've thought of them. I didn't have a good name for it, but fortunately Penny Arcade provided inspiration.


If anyone reading also reads Questionable Content, they also have described this, but they called it something else completely. Just more proof that good ideas strike many people. Sadly for me, they did think to post it online before me.

So now to the meat of this blog! I intend to test this idea. so what I want you all to do is post comments or email me (gmail is my mail and happysin is my name) about fetishes you don't think exist, or are at least weird enough you don't think they're online yet. Also, do try to make it a little difficult. Everyone knows about BDSM, furry, feet and other common fetishes. A silicone-injected penis might be a good guideline for the level of rarity/weirdness I'm looking for.

Happy hunting!